I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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