I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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