All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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