What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
