One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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