she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
