return my video game
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
