GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
