I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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