I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
