I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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