So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
