entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
