I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
