I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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