Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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