This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
