BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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