I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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