May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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