i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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