Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
