How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
