That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
