OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
