I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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