I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
