This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
