I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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