I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
