Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
