so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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