The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
