Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
