And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
