omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
