YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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