I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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