Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Still dying that you shit outside
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize