Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
