it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Found your dick twin last night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
