They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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