I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
