mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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