i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
