I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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