You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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