We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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