Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
