some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
