she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
