it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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