whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
