I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
