I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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