I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize