the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
