she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
