Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
